Reconnect with Your Erotic Self

One of the biggest challenges women face today is living in their business self: a part that is constantly thinking, doing, planning, organising, and controlling. This behaviour then overflows into their relationships, often impacting their romantic lives, making their relationships more transactional and mechanical.

However, this doesn’t have to be the case. The solution? Reconnecting with your Erotic Self - the lover inside you.

From Go to Flow: Business to Lover

To reconnect with your Lover Self, you need to be in a relaxed, receptive state - called Flow Mode, or your Erotic Self. This is the part of you that feels, surrenders, enjoys, and receives. It’s intuitive, embodied, and present.

But to succeed in everyday life, work, goals, responsibilities we often operate in Go Mode, also known as your Business Self. This mode is logical, efficient, action-driven, and rooted in the mind.

You’re thriving in your career because your Business Self is strong and well-developed — you’ve mastered the Go Mode of thinking and doing. However, staying in Go Mode for too long can block how you feel sensually and prevent you from connecting with your Erotic Self.

Some gurus refer to the Erotic Self as the “feminine self,” but I prefer the term Erotic Self or Lover Mode. This is because your Erotic Self isn’t exclusively feminine, it can carry both feminine and masculine traits. What makes it powerful is its connection to the body, its sensations and pleasure.

For women especially, reconnecting to the body is essential. It’s the gateway to receiving deeper pleasure, enhancing sensation, and building stronger intimate connections. Both Go Mode and Flow Mode serve a purpose, the key is learning when to activate each one.

So, how do you reconnect to your erotic self?

1. Start with the Erotic Self Meditation

Begin by reconnecting with your body through a guided Erotic Self meditation 🔗. This helps you visualise and embody this part of you—not as a concept, but as a presence.

2. Name Your Erotic Self

Once you’ve made the connection, give your erotic self a name. Picture her. Who is she? A goddess? Princess? Queen? Or a stripper? How does she move, feel, and speak?

Naming her brings her to life and makes her easier to embody.

3. Dress Your Erotic Self

Next, try dressing as your erotic self. What outfit, hairstyle, makeup, or accessories would she wear? Let yourself embody her for one evening, just for you.

It’s not about anyone else witnessing it. It’s about you feeling her energy and stepping into that power.

4. Create Daily Pleasures

Your erotic self speaks the language of desire and pleasure. Listen to her. What does she crave? Begin to honour that with daily rituals—little sensual pleasures that wake up your senses and bring joy to your body. This could be:

—Wearing beautiful underwear

—Sipping your favourite tea

—Experimenting with your cooking

—Walking barefoot on grass

—Buying yourself fresh flowers

—Savouring a sensual perfume

These pleasures are often sensory: touch, scent, sight, sound, taste. Let them guide you back home to yourself.

5. Take Your Goddess on a Date

Set aside time just for her and take her on a date. Ask yourself: what would delight her? Maybe it’s a solo spa evening, maybe a walk through your favourite park, or maybe something unexpected. Let her voice be heard, and give her space to want and receive.

6. Embrace Solo Play

Solo play is a beautiful practice to connect deeper to your erotic self. Ask: how would she touch herself? What would feel exquisite to her? Whether it’s the brush of fingertips, a favourite scent, a toy, or simply breath and presence—allow her to explore and receive. As you get close to that “O” moment, challenge your pleasure threshold. Whisper to yourself:

“I deserve more pleasure. I want to feel more.”

7. Create Your Own Erotic Self Ritual

An Erotic Self Ritual is a powerful transition practice designed to help you shift out of your busy, thinking mind and reconnect with your body. It’s a gentle way to move from stress and structure into softness, presence, and pleasure.

These simple yet deeply nourishing rituals help awaken your erotic self—the part of you that feels, receives, and desires.

Try one of the following:

—Slow dancing

—Enjoying a shower or bath

—Changing your outfit

—Meditating or doing breath work

—Cooking

—Applying sensual body oil

These simple but powerful practices are an invitation to reconnect with your internal goddess, the part of you that feels deeply, desires unapologetically, and lives fully in her body.

Let her back in. She’s been waiting.